Mood: Okay
Topic : What the hell was I thinking?
S.O.C.: “Favorite Accident” by Motion City soundtrack(that's a band name btw)
::Plops down in chair:: I really o despise people…so very much…but kindness will forever come bite me in the ass I swear.
Someone needs to teach me to dislike actively…I don’t know. Here’s the things my people no matter how much I disagree with someone or dislike how they go about things I can’t really be actively mean to then. Accidentally mean sure (ask Jonnell about Delilah--but that was just honesty anyway) I usually deal with people I dislike with apathy) I mean let’s pick up an easy shooting target. Cheerleaders. (generalization here as follows) They’re blonde, they’re slow, they’re not very nice. And for some unknown reason I feel that I have to be nice to them. I think I’ve lost a certain edge lately--something has sedated my fangs--this worries me.
I mean I gave Brittany food (for those of you who know Brittany you know that that’s a step) I’m helping Alley with her college stuff I have Nicole my sweater--the sweater Danny gave me (no Lisette not The Nicole you’re thinking of) You see someone said that they were tired in class and I was sitting on the floor writing a letter and Nicole from above is laying down next to me trying to sleep using my sweater as a blanket and the subject of the hard floor came up. Somewhere in there I said that I hate sleeping in beds (most of you guys know that I prefer anywhere but beds) And then one of the cheerleaders who I will not bother to name because I know all of you know her and there is no need to get up in anyone’s face about something so trivial I’m just trying to do some analysis here says well then where do you like to sleep? I told her very simply on couches, in hammocks, on the floor sometimes. So she laughed at me and called me a weirdo. I mean it didn’t particularly bother me I mean I actually smiled a little myself I am strange I know that all to well. I guess I was just trying to figure out why I’d share something like that with someone I don’t even like. I don’t know.
I think something is seriously wrong with me. I’m usually pretty on guard about things. I guess my mind must have been someplace else. I’m just worried about my actions I suppose. I’m wondering what it means. I mean do I just not care anymore or what? I don’t like not knowing exactly why I take an action. It was weird. LoL perhaps it was the blatant reminder that I am strange. I don’t know. I forget sometimes that I’m not really viewed as normal. I consider myself pretty average. I eat sleep breath normal right? I don’t know maybe it’s the whole visual thing. It’s strange to me. Anyway this entry is going no where so yeah
Bye
Kim
Topic : What the hell was I thinking?
S.O.C.: “Favorite Accident” by Motion City soundtrack(that's a band name btw)
::Plops down in chair:: I really o despise people…so very much…but kindness will forever come bite me in the ass I swear.
Someone needs to teach me to dislike actively…I don’t know. Here’s the things my people no matter how much I disagree with someone or dislike how they go about things I can’t really be actively mean to then. Accidentally mean sure (ask Jonnell about Delilah--but that was just honesty anyway) I usually deal with people I dislike with apathy) I mean let’s pick up an easy shooting target. Cheerleaders. (generalization here as follows) They’re blonde, they’re slow, they’re not very nice. And for some unknown reason I feel that I have to be nice to them. I think I’ve lost a certain edge lately--something has sedated my fangs--this worries me.
I mean I gave Brittany food (for those of you who know Brittany you know that that’s a step) I’m helping Alley with her college stuff I have Nicole my sweater--the sweater Danny gave me (no Lisette not The Nicole you’re thinking of) You see someone said that they were tired in class and I was sitting on the floor writing a letter and Nicole from above is laying down next to me trying to sleep using my sweater as a blanket and the subject of the hard floor came up. Somewhere in there I said that I hate sleeping in beds (most of you guys know that I prefer anywhere but beds) And then one of the cheerleaders who I will not bother to name because I know all of you know her and there is no need to get up in anyone’s face about something so trivial I’m just trying to do some analysis here says well then where do you like to sleep? I told her very simply on couches, in hammocks, on the floor sometimes. So she laughed at me and called me a weirdo. I mean it didn’t particularly bother me I mean I actually smiled a little myself I am strange I know that all to well. I guess I was just trying to figure out why I’d share something like that with someone I don’t even like. I don’t know.
I think something is seriously wrong with me. I’m usually pretty on guard about things. I guess my mind must have been someplace else. I’m just worried about my actions I suppose. I’m wondering what it means. I mean do I just not care anymore or what? I don’t like not knowing exactly why I take an action. It was weird. LoL perhaps it was the blatant reminder that I am strange. I don’t know. I forget sometimes that I’m not really viewed as normal. I consider myself pretty average. I eat sleep breath normal right? I don’t know maybe it’s the whole visual thing. It’s strange to me. Anyway this entry is going no where so yeah
Bye
Kim
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